West Side Market, Cleveland, Ohio
Celebrities love to do 2 things: support local businesses and buy fresh organic food. The best way to do this is shop at Cleveland’s West Side Market located in Ohio City. One summer afternoon my ex-boy band member boyfriend Phil and I decided that we wanted to get away from our posh lifestyle and be romantic and cook a new recipe together. Normally celebrities don’t cook for themselves, they have personal cooks or house keepers do it for them. But sometimes celebrities have to pretend to be real to make it seem that they are “normal” and “humble.” For example, Britney Spears loves to wear UGGs and eat cheetos to pretend she is “normal.” Cooking is a way I stay “normal,” I actually enjoy finding a new and challenging recipe and cooking it for me and my BF. Also cooking is a good way for celebrities to stay normal and to make money from future cookbooks, like these fabulous cookbooks by Ted Nugent, Robin Leach, Tony Danza, Coolio, and Teresa Giudice . The recipe we chose to cook to expand our culinary expertise was Spicy Pork Tacos.
To make the best tacos possible we wanted the freshest ingredients possible because a celebrity’s body is a temple. To get the best ingredients in Cleveland you go to the West Side Market. West Side Market is loved by many Clevelanders including celebrity chefs like Micheal Symon. It is also very busy all the time so it is easy to hide from the paparazzi in there. It’s turning 100 this year and features all different types of food vendors, everything from baked goods to seafood. Some of my favorite vendors are Ohio City Pasta, Urban Herbs, Mediterranean Imported Foods, and D.W. Whitaker. If you need fancy yummy pasta, good herbs, amazing feta cheese, and high quality pork and/or chicken these are the places to go. The West Side Market can be overwhelming if you don’t know what you are doing. So if you want to go shopping it is best to have a list or you’ll end buying everything.
D.W. Whittaker’s Chicken
Me with the West Side Market Loot
Jeni’s in Chagrin Falls, Ohio
To be a celebrity you have to make demands. If you are not picky in what you want then you are never making it to the A-List. I have a sweet tooth. So I’m really picky about my ice cream. I call myself an ice cream snob and I always demand my favorite ice cream or nothing else. My favorite ice cream is Jeni’s. If you live in Columbus and never had Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream, you are lame and you better get your ass to the Short North and wait in line for some ice cream. If you live in Cleveland and you never have been to Jeni’s I’ll give you a pass because their Chagrin Falls location is reserved for Eastsiders.
Jeni’s ice cream has cool celebrity like flavors because some of them are hard to pronounce (Lime Cardamom), have odd combinations (Sweet Corn and Black Raspberries), it’s local small business and all good celebrities support the little guy, and it is best ice cream in the U.S., no joke. Jeni’s creator Jeni Britton Bauer is also a James Beard Award winner and that’s important because they always say it on Top Chef like it is the Oscars of the food world. Here is how me, a celebrity walks into Jeni’s and acts like a boss. I don’t taste any samples. Samples are for tourists and I am not a tourist this is my favorite ice cream. If they have a new flavor, that is not an excuse, still no samples. If I want to try the new flavor I’ll buy the pint and take my chance. I always order Salty Caramel and another flavor on a waffle cone. If you are the type of celebrity who always is on a diet, so what, this is your opportunity to show the world that no matter what you eat you don’t gain a pound. You need to pick your signature flavor and a wild card. Just don’t have the Buckeye State, it’s good but it’s too safe and boring. You can get Buckeye State like ice cream anywhere. Grow a pair and pick another flavor and you will thank me later.
Wildberry Lavender, Lemon and Blueberries Frozen Yogurt, Salty Caramel, and Pistachio & Honey with waffles cones
Me and Will Ferrell during his Semi-Pro press junket; shortly after I made him laugh.
When I was in college at THE Ohio State University. My friends and I would categorize people’s popularity by putting them on a A-List, B-List, and C-List status. For example the student government president was on the A-List because everyone knew him on campus, his was always in the newspaper, at the openings of all the new bars, and was always hanging out with the famous OSU dean Gordon Gee. Your celebrity status would decrease on the scale based on the things you did, people you were seen with, and how many people knew your name and face. Thus, any person could be a celebrity in any city or social scene.
I am an A-List celebrity in Ohio because I lived in Columbus for 7 years, born and raised in Canton, and currently live in Cleveland.I make sure that I’m always at the hottest places to eat, drink, shop, and make sure I always get the VIP treatment. Even though people might not know my name or who I am I make sure they know my name by the end of the night. Here are some of experiences that add to my street cred as a celebrity: Talib Kweli almost got me arrested, Vanilla Ice once picked up me and my friends bar tab, I made Will Ferrell laugh, LC’s current fiancee William Tell hit on me, David Wain said I was cooler than Winona Ryder, and Lisa Lampanelli described my interviewing skills as “quick like a man, you’re in then you’re out but you get the job done.”
I am writing this blog to help all you D-Listers to make you sure you are living the celebrity lifestyle. You’re welcome.